Preparing for Back to School By June Solnit Sale, Kit Kollenberg, and Ellen Melinkoff Preparing for Changes Ahead Going to a new school or having a new teacher can be challenging for children. Very rarely does a child have the same teacher or same classmates for two years in a row. For most children, every fall means some unknown is facing them. Of course, a new school is scary, but so is a new teacher, one who comes complete with rumors about how strict he is. Or your child's best friend, whom she has gone through every grade with, has moved away, and now your child has the daunting prospect of facing everything alone. Ask your child what her concerns are about the new semester. "What are you looking forward to?" "What are you worried about?" Don't presume. Don't belittle. She may be panicking about having to sit next to the class troublemaker or someone she had a big fight with last year. Help her to focus on the positive aspects of what's ahead. As children move up in school, new expectations are put on them: to learn new subjects, do more homework, and concentrate for longer periods. Children usually have a sense of what's expected of them and that can lead to worries. Your encouragement can help them tackle what is ahead. The stress of the new school year may cause behavioral changes. Expect regression, crankiness, anger, backsliding and resistance (to homework, doing chores). More Preparation: Shopping for Clothes A new outfit for the first day… Didn't you look forward to that when you were young? Some things never change. Maybe kindergarteners aren't tuned in yet, but as children move through elementary school, and even more so in middle and high schools, the right first day outfit can set the tone for a glorious school year. And the wrong one can put a child in a bad frame of mind that is hard to shake. The right outfit is one that makes the wearer feel like a million bucks—not the wearer's parent. You're probably imagining a nice little outfit, neat, fitted but not too tight (or too loose). Your daughter probably wants something Britney Spears would wear; your son wants to copy N'Sync. The time to bridge this gap is not at the mall, when your child has the dream outfit in hand. Talk about what you are willing to buy well before you set out to shop. It may take some time to find a compromise. The other area to discuss in advance, especially with older children, is how much you're willing to spend. How many pants, skirts, shirts, and pairs of shoes. Even with students who wear uniforms, there is shopping beyond the required outfits. Most children look for ways to assert their individuality in a sea of plaid jumpers or gray pants. Buying barrettes, shoes, or special socks can be very important to uniform-wearers. Allow time for choosing and purchasing these accessories. All these shopping trips can be both time-consuming and draining. Plan them for a time when you are both fresh. If you have to do it on a work night, try to allow plenty of time and figure in a break for a snack. Shopping for Supplies The biggest day of the year for school supplies is the first day of school. Stock up in advance. That means a week or two, not a day or two, on items you know will be required. But there will always be something that has to be bought on that first night: a certain kind of binder (you got three-ring, Mrs. Walters will only accept two-ring!) or a green pen that the teacher wants to see tomorrow. Trying to find school supplies at eight o'clock that night is frazzling. Maybe this is the day to use a little flex time, somehow arrange to take off work a little early so you can get to the stores before they sell out. Preparing Yourself And don't forget to get yourself ready, which means getting prepared for the additional responsibilities of helping with homework and getting children to school early—things you've had a summer vacation from, too! June Solnit Sale, Kit Kollenberg, and Ellen Melinkoff are the former editors of the UCLA Working Parents Newsletter and the authors of The Working Parents Handbook. If you are interested in more articles like this one, please visit FamilyEdge, the website designed to meet the learning needs for the entire family. One of the FamilyEdge channels is KidsEdge the award-winning educational website for families with young children. KidsEdge provides a fun and individualized learning environment for kids, along with customized feedback for the adults who care about them. KidsEdge offers over 200 age-appropriate kids online games and activities for children ages 3-10 in six key educational areas: language arts, math, science, social studies, technology, and the arts. Built to meet the standards and benchmarks of the Knowledge Kids Network curriculum, which was developed by leading authorities in education and education technology, as well as key state standards from around the nation. KidsEdge is also a great resource for reading help and homework help. Additionally, KidsEdge emphasizes Internet safety with filtering software which allows you to set the level of Internet access for your child, from fully protected to complete access. An integral part of KidsEdge is the My Family at a GlanceTM tool for parents, a proprietary reporting feature that shows each child's learning progress and recommends complementary skill-building activities and educational products. © 2000-2003 Knowledge Kids Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.